A World Without You
by Krash-X
Summary: Rachel has always been strong but when she gets pushed too far and does something drastic, Quinn will do anything to prove she is worthy of the diva's forgiveness. Slight AU. Faberry. Side Brittana. Attempted Suicide. Femslash.
1. The Breakdown

A World Without You

Chapter 1: The Breakdown

Pairings: Faberry(Quinn/Rachel); Brittana(Santana/Brittany); Others To Be Determined(See bottom to vote.)

The following story is rated M for suggestive and sexual themes, attempted suicide, & strong language and may be unsuitable for those under 17. Reader discretion advised.

Summary - Rachel has always been strong but when she gets pushed too far and does something drastic, Quinn will do anything to prove her forgiveness to the diva.

_A/N - So, first fic and I'm not sure about it, so I will need a lot of support. I would appreciate a lot of reviews and constructive criticism. It took me a long time to decide what pairing to use, considering I ship so many. I ultimately, after careful consideration, ended up choosing Faberry. Now, I would like the record to show that, it does not have anything to do with favorites because I don't play favorites with my ships. It is purely because I felt Faberry fit this story best. By the way, this is un beta'd, so sorry for any mistakes._

_Disclaimer! I do not own Glee or its characters!_

_So, without further ado, let's get this show on the road._

Rachel Berry entered the unforgiving halls of McKinley High and was immediately ambushed with a mixture of cherry & blueberry slush.

"That's a nice look for you RuPaul." she hears Quinn Fabray say, amidst the laughter.

"Yeah. Now that I can't see your face, you look great." sneers Santana.

Rachel wipes the colored ice from her eyes, trying to ignore the sting. This day has been horrible. They've kept getting worse, ever since her dad left the very same week her only friend in the school, Tina, turned her back on her to join the group terrorizing her now, the cheerios. And today, not only did her daddy say he'd be sleeping at the hospital from now on because he's been working so much, but today was the day she finally gave up on music. All her life she would brush off what all the bullies said, and all the problems her family had, and she would sing. But today she had realized that she had no more passion in music. She didn't believe in it anymore, and that had made her even more sad, the fact that she no longer had a purpose, no longer had any joy in her life. That was when she heard the lowest thing Tina had ever said.

"Why don't you just jump off a cliff man hands. No one cares about you."

And at that, for the first time in Rachel Berry's life, a bully, or rather, bullies, had made her cry. She collapsed to her knees in tears. She cried, not because of the freezing cold goop on her face, but because she realized what Tina had said, was true. No one cared about her. After what felt like a lifetime, she looked up, to look at the faces of 3 bullies and saw a smug look on Santana's face, a sad look on Tina's face, and an unreadable expression on Quinn's face.

Rachel got up and ran the whole three miles from her school to her house without even thinking about stopping. She collapsed on her couch and cried for hours, and when she finally stopped and looked up, the only thing she saw was the box-cutter on the coffee table.

Quinn was on her way to Rachel's house now. She couldn't bare the thought of Rachel, her Rachel, her unbreakable Rachel, being broken. She always thought Rachel could withstand anybody and anything, now it appears she had pushed her too far.

She pulled up to the house and noticed the front door was left open. That can't be a good sign, she thought. When she finally went into the house, she saw the most horrifying thing she had ever seen in her life.

There was Rachel, laying on her couch in her living room, box cutter in one hand, blood flowing freely from the other. "Oh my God! Rachel!"

Rachel's eyes snapped open. "Quinn?" she said sounding weak.

"Oh my God." Quinn repeated, kneeling down next to her, too shocked to do anything else at the moment.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you." Quinn replied, pressing her forehead to Rachel's. Quinn finally realized she had to do something and started to look for something to stop the bleeding.

"Why? Why would _you_ care about me?" Rachel tried to snap at her, but she was so weak that it came out as a whisper.

Quinn instantly felt guilty, knowing that she was the reason for this. She felt tears well up in her eyes. She pulled the small figure before her into a tight embrace. "Rachel, I'm so sorry! I never meant anything I said to you. You are amazing and you didn't deserve it."

Rachel vision was blurry. Her hearing was strained. She slowly felt herself slipping away. Quinn grabbed a blanket from the couch to stop the bleeding. "No." Rachel tried to protest. Quinn didn't listen and took out her cell phone.

After dialing 3 quick digits she spoke into the receiver, "My friend slit her wrists. I'm trying to stop the bleeding, but she's lost so much already." Somewhere in the back of Quinn's mind, she scowled at herself for calling Rachel her friend, when she didn't have nor deserve Rachel's friendship.

"Alright ma'am what's your location?" The man on the other line asked Quinn.

"Um, Lam Road. I don't know what the number is." Quinn responded before looking to Rachel and seeing her eyes closed. "Rachel?!" Nothing. "RACHEL!" she screamed, dropping the phone and shaking the limp girl. She sobbed into her neck. It was too hard to think. All she could think about was Rachel. "Please, don't do this to me Rachel! Stay with me, Rachel! Stay with me!" She tried to get her brain to work again and remembered the phone. She snatched it up off the ground, "Hello?" she said into it feeling stupid.

"Ma'am, I need you to calm down. An ambulance is on its way. What's your name?" The operator said to her calmly.

"Quinn. Quinn Fabray." she replied, taking a deep breath, trying and failing to calm herself down.

"Alright. And what's your friends name?"

"Rachel Berry." Quinn answered.

"Okay, the ambulance will be there with the police cruiser soon. You'll have to tell them what happened when they get there."

"Okay. Thank you." she said still crying, before hanging up. Sure enough, she heard the sirens coming down the block. She panicked for a second when she remembered, she never gave the full address, but that wave of panic disappeared when she saw the paramedics coming up to the door. They surrounded Rachel on the couch, talking about things Quinn didn't understand. Two of them had to pull her away from Rachel, whom she still had a death grip on.

Quinn felt her heart crack when she heard one of them say, "Her pulse is fading." They stretched her out to the ambulance and a new wave of tears came down when she tried to get in the ambulance and they said to her, "Family members only."

They ushered her to one of the police officers to answer their had only taking 5 minutes to explain what had happened, but for Quinn, it felt like a lifetime, partly because she had to explain that she was the reason for all of this happenning and why Rachel was covered in slushie, but also because she wanted to get to the hospital to make sure she was okay. Now the cop questioning her (more like interrogating her) was talking to a cop who was out of uniform while she just stood there and did nothing, before finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She walked to her car without saying anything. She had opened the car door when one of the cops called out to her.

"Miss Fabray, hold on a second."

This had Quinn fuming. She spun around, "Ya know what? You can interrogate me later! Now, I'm going down to the hospital to see Rachel!" She was about to get in when he stopped her again.

"Hey, hey, hey." he said softly, grabbing the car door so she couldn't have closed it if she got in. He wasn't the first cop who had acted like it was all her fault, which it was, but she already felt bad enough and didn't need the extra gilt. It was the second cop, the one that was out of uniform. He looked extremely young to be a cop. "Listen, I'm sorry about Bob. He's offensive to everybody. We didn't mean for you to feel interrogated."

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to let you know that I've gone through something similar to what you're going through and if you ever need someone to talk to, you can give me a call." he explained before handing Quinn his card.

Quinn sighed and took the card from his, before reading the name out loud, "_Detective _Matt Rutherford." she said, shocked that this kid, who couldn't have been much older than her, was not only a cop, but a detective.

"Yeah." Matt said, already knowing the reason for her shock.

"How?" she asked.

"Give me a call sometime and I'll tell you about it, but for now, you need to go to your friend." Matt said taking his hand off the door and walking back to that douche named Bob.

Quinn glanced down at the card again as she got in, before stuffing it in her glove compartment and letting her mind come back to her earlier mission. Rachel. She ignited the engine and sped away, not even caring if the cops right behind her could see how fast she drove.

On her way to the hospital, she quickly felt the waterworks coming on again, since she could actually think about what is happening right now. All of the sudden, it hit her. Rachel tried to kill herself. Rachel freaking Barbra Berry tried to kill herself. She hating thinking about what could have happened if she hadn't shown up when she did.

She decided she didn't want to be all by herself with nothing but her thoughts anymore. She grabbed her phone and called speed dial 3, after her voicemail and her mom, and hoped they would answer.

"What's up Fabray?" Santana asked when she answered to phone.

"It's Rachel." Quinn said, trying desperately to sound strong.

"What did the hobbit do now?" Santana said annoyed. She had only been half paying attention. If she was truly listening, she would have heard Quinn's voice waver.

Quinn couldn't hold it and sobbed loudly, causing Santana to turn serious and focus herself into the conversation.

"Quinn what happened?" Santana asked, all the sarcasm in her voice dropped. Brittany, who was sitting right next to the Latina, playing with her hair, noticed the change in demeanor, sat up straight, concerned.

Quinn tried to say it out loud, but found it very difficult. "R-R-Rachel tried to killed herself." She choked out, causing her heart to break into pieces.

Santana's eyes shot out of their sockets and her jaw dropped, "Oh my God." was all she could manage to say.

"Can you please come down to the hospital?" Quinn normally would have punched herself in the face for sounding so vulnerable, but in that moment she didn't care. All she could think about was Rachel.

"Yeah, I'm on my way now." Santana said getting up and throwing her leather jacket on. Brittany got up too. She sensed something was very wrong and grabbed her stuff.

"And can you bring Britt and Tina too." Quinn added.

"Definitely. Be there ASAP." Santana promised before dropping the line.

Quinn put her phone down as she pulled into a close enough parking space. She turned the car off and put her head on the steering wheel.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel."

_A/N - So that was chapter 1. Let me know what you guys think, good or bad. I wasn't originally planning on making this AU, until I got to the point where Matt introduced himself, so it's only a little AU. I'm not sure when I will update. It'll probably depend on the reaction I get to it, so review. I actually thought of this idea 2 weeks ago but then couldn't get myself to write it up until an hour ago. The first few chapters might be tough for me, but once I'm past that point, I'll probably update more often. So I've decided to decide the side-pairing by letting you guys vote on them. Head to my profile to vote on up to 2. If you wanna know why they are all crack!ships, it's because I like crack!ships and I think they should have more of a chance. Below is the list of them. I went with six because if I put too many than the votes will be too spread out, so don't request any others because I won't add them._

_Sugartie(Sugar/Artie)_

_Tingar(Tina/Sugar)_

_Kum(Kurt/Sam)_

_Tuck(Tina/Puck)_

_Puckar(Puck/Sugar)_

_Tyder(Tina/Ryder)_

_You can also feel free to ask me questions through can also PM me anytime. I like talking to people. I actually have a question for you guys. Do you think Krash-X is a good pen name because I have a feeling it's really stupid._

_-A.J._


	2. Regret

A World Without You

Chapter 2: Regret

Main Pairing: Faberry

Side Pairings: Brittana; Others TBD

The following story is rated M for suggestive and sexual themes, attempted suicide, & strong language and may be unsuitable for those under 17. Reader discretion advised.

**_A/N - Wow! It's been way too long. I've had the next few chapters written for a while, just didn't update until a friend of mine convinced me. From now on, I'll probably update weekly. You guys are awesome! Even if the amount of Favorites, Follows, & Reviews may seem small to some, they made me very happy. However, I would like to remind you all to vote on the side pairing poll because your answers will greatly affect the winners and the winners will greatly affect the story because I plan on making the side pairings a big deal, unlike in other fics where the side pairings are just chillin' in the background. However, they won't be as big a deal as Faberry, obviously. So head to my profile and vote dammit! Also, If anybody has any good betas, let me know because once again, this is unbeta'd. Okay, here are my replies to my wonderful reviewers._**

**_cburton1995 - I love your enthusiasm. Seriously, when I saw your review, I dropped my crutches and skipped around the house not even caring how much pain my foot was in. (:_**

**_ShadowCub - I totally agree with you. I hate it when one chapter is full of hate, and then the next chapter all is forgiven and everything is fluffy. It's like the writers are bipolar to where they want the story to go, kinda like the actual Glee writers, but I don't plan on making things peachy too quickly. I was bullied as well and reached some pretty low points at a very young age, so I'll make sure this fic does justice._**

**_HannahWilliam33 - Yes, yes it was depressing. But thank you for the praise. I really wasn't sure about it. Make sure you vote for Tingar and another pairing at my profile or else the vote won't count._**

**_Gardenia2 - Thank you for favoriting & reviewing on the first chapter. It normally takes more for me._**

**_Musiclover131421 - Make sure you vote for Tyder and another ship at my profile or else it won't count if it's just a review._**

**_We love us - Honestly, seeing your review was the moment I decided to start writing this chapter. You seemed really passionate about it._**

**_Reviewers, Followers, & Favoriters - Thank you for showing your support in my fic. I really wasn't sure about it, so the fact that people actually like it makes me sooooooo grateful._**

Leroy Brown sat next to Rachel's bed in silence. Rachel's body seemed completely lifeless. If it weren't for the slow steady beep of the heart monitor, you would have no idea she was even alive. He couldn't believe this happened to his daughter of all people. Sure, he could see she was feeling down ever since Hiram left, but he hadn't realized it was this bad.

He was still trying to get over Hiram's departure himself. He had buried himself in his work. He had neglected his daughter . He had ignored her depression, hoping it would pass. He couldn't believe he let it get this bad. Now it was too late.

"Doctor Brown?" a nurse came in to get her boss's attention.

LeRoy cleared his throat and looked up. He still hadn't gotten used to being called Doctor Brown. "Yes?"

"Someone is here to see your daughter."

Anger immediately swelled up inside LeRoy. It was probably that so-called boyfriend of hers. What was his name? Flynt? Ben? Whatever. He should've been taking care of her. He should have been protecting her. He shouldn't have let this happen. "Let 'em in."

The nurse nodded before walking out again.

Santana could hardly recognize Quinn. When she walked into the hospital an hour ago, she found the shell of the girl she knew just a few hours ago. She wasn't expecting to find her best friend curled up in the very corner chair of the waiting room, sobbing into her knees which were being hugged to her chest tightly by her arms. She knew that under all of the torture and insults that Quinn did really care about Rachel, but she still didn't think it would hit her this hard, however, she didn't realize how much pain Rachel was in either. I mean she slit her wrists and from what Quinn told her, they were pretty deep. Wait a minute. What Quinn told her. What Quinn told her? Quinn was the one who went to her house. Why? Why was Quinn at her house? She figured asking now wouldn't be a good idea, but she knew she had to find out sooner or later.

Tina seriously felt like a part of her died inside. She told Rachel that she would always stay by her side, and she took the cheap way out. She knew how depressed she was. She turned against her when she needed her most. But she was just so tired of it all. The slushies. The names. The insults. She just wanted it all to end, but she left Rachel behind, and look at where she is now. But why was Quinn at her house. What did she do to her to make her do this? She knew she needed to find out, and if Quinn did anything to her, she would be done being a pacifist, at least for the day.

Quinn couldn't comprehend her thoughts. Everything was just mangled memories. The voices from everyone she had heard that day.

_No one cares about you!_

_Why would you care about me?_

_What's your location?_

_Rachel tried to kill herself._

_Tried to kill herself._

_Tried to kill herself._

"Quinn?!" She was startled from the voices in her head by Santana shaking her into consciousness.

"What?" Quinn asked groggily.

"We can see Rachel now." Quinn was out of the chair as fast as her suddenly very weak limbs would let her. After another assessment, Santana could see that Quinn looked like hell. She sighed at how completely fucked up this situation was.

"Right this way." The nurse instructed. Once they reached the door with the number 148 on it, the nurse stopped and said, "She's right in there."

Quinn turned to the 3 girls behind her, "Can I go in first, alone?"

Santana looked at Brittany and Tina before answering for them all, "Sure. Go ahead."

Quinn took a deep breath and twisted the knob on the door.

LeRoy was now furious. He couldn't believe that this idiot of a boyfriend could not only let her do this, but also have the audacity to show up at the hospital for her. He suddenly heard the door to the room close and footsteps make their way to Rachel's bed. Still facing to window, he spoke. "How could you do this to her?!"

Quinn, who was startled by the man's voice, as she did not notice him over by the window. Before she could answer, he continued.

"You have a whole lot of nerve, showing up here! You are the reason that she is in that bed!"

Quinn felt her heart get crushed all over again. She was about to defend herself, but stopped because she knew she deserve it. Quinn finally realized who it was. It had been a long time since she'd seen LeRoy Berry.

"You should have been helping her! You should have been protecting her! But you didn't. And now, you think you have the right to be here but you don't!"

He was now shouting, and Quinn couldn't help but let the tears fall.

"So, what do you have to say for yourself?!"

"I'm sorry." She choked out in a sob.

LeRoy whipped his head around so fast after hearing the voice of a woman. He was just barely able to make the girl out as Quinn Fabray before she ran out crying. He didn't understand. He thought it was Jim or whatever his name was. He ran after her, but as he got outside the hospital room, all he saw was Tina standing there watching Santana and Brittany run after Quinn. It was easy to tell that there was no way they would catch up to her.

Tina turned to him, confused, "What happened Mr. Brown?"

LeRoy rubbed his temples and walked back inside, "Come on in Tina. I think we both need to catch up on a few things."

"Where'd she go?" Brittany asked once they got outside.

Santana went around the corner of the hospital to see a crying Quinn in the fetal position. "Britt, why don't you go get Quinn some water?"

Brittany glanced at Quinn before she said, "Okay" and walked away.

Santana sat down next to Quinn and sighed. "Quinn, tell me what's going on?"

"It's my fault. It's all my fault."

Santana sighed again, "Quinn, what happened, why did you go to her house, and what do you mean it's all your fault?"

Quinn finally lifted her head, "You saw her at school, San. You saw how broken she was, I had to see her."

Santana nodded. She knew that underneath it all, Quinn cared about Rachel.

After seeing Santana's acknowledgement, Quinn continued,"When, I got there, I saw her, and I... I..." She trailed off, and returned her head to it's resting point, before letting out another sob.

Brittany was back with Quinn's water and set it down to engulf Quinn in a tight hug, which, even to her own surprise, was returned. Quinn hated being so co dependent, but right now, she needed her friends.

LeRoy sat at a very small table across from Tina, still rubbing his temples as if it would make the headache go away. Tina had just explained to him what she knew, which wasn't much. "Well what about that Hudson kid, whatever his name is. Is he around?"

Tina's eyebrows scrunched together, "You mean Finn?"

"That's his name!" LeRoy nearly shouted and snapped his fingers as he finally remembered the kids name.

Tina didn't understand, "Mr. Brown, Rachel and Finn broke up two months ago." She decided against telling him the reason why.

"What?" LeRoy was shocked. Rachel used to tell him and Hiram everything that happened at school, now he felt as if he didn't know his daughter at all. Now, he felt tears poking at his eyes. "What have I done?" he said out loud without realizing. "I've lost my husband. Now, I'm about to lose the most important thing that has ever happened to me."

Tina got up and rubbed her hand on LeRoy's back. "You haven't lost her yet."

LeRoy looked to the bed across the room and made a promise: If you would give me a second chance, I promise I will never take you for granted again. "No. Not yet."

Quinn walked slowly in the direction of room 148 with Santana and Brittany by her side. Once she reached the door, she once again asked if she could go in alone. San looked a little skeptical but Britt told her to go ahead. She walked in and saw Tina and Mr. Brown next to Rachel facing away from her.

Upon hearing the door close, he somehow knew who it was, "Tina, could you give us a minute?"

Tina seemed to think about it for a few seconds, then she began walking to the door, placing a reassuring hand on Quinn's shoulder before closing the door behind her.

LeRoy stood and turned to face Quinn. "I'm sorry about earlier. I thought you were someone else. Never the less, it didn't give me the right to blame someone else for something that I am responsible for."

Well, Quinn wasn't expecting that. "Mr. Berry, you shouldn't be sorry for anything. It's all my fault that Rachel-" she had to swallow a knot in her throat, "that Rachel tried to kill herself."

LeRoy had to do the same before saying, "No. You're the reason she's alive."

Quinn's face turned to one of confusion.

LeRoy explained, "If you hadn't found her when you did, I might not have known anything was wrong for days."

This only made Quinn more confused.

"Sit down Quinn." LeRoy said, gesturing to the seat next to his.

Quinn did so.

"My name is no longer Berry. It's Brown. Two months ago, my husband Hiram, left us."

_Two months ago?_ Quinn thought. _That's about when Tina joined the Cheerios and she and Finn broke up!_

"I buried myself in work, and some days I would even sleep there. It was only today that I told Rachel I'd be sleeping here permanently.

Quinn had to think about that for a second, before remembering that LeRoy was a surgeon, and that _here_ is where he works.

"I knew she was down ever since he left but I was still trying to get over his leaving myself. I neglected my own daughter. And if you didn't find her, she would have never made it." LeRoy turned from Rachel to the blonde next to him, "You saved my daughter's life. And for that I thank you."

Quinn wasn't sure what to say. She looked to the beautiful brunette, laying peacefully. "She wouldn't have needed saving if it wasn't for me."

LeRoy, sighing, stood up and patted Quinn's shoulder, "I'll give you a minute with her." He said on his way out the door.

Quinn grabbed Rachel's warm hand. Tears, again, made their appearance. "I'm so sorry Rachel. I should've treated you better." She said, before remembering that first day of freshman year.

_Rachel was so excited for her first day of high school. She was currently looking for Quinn to see if they had any classes together. Finally spotting her best friend, she waved at her. She must not have noticed her, so she went up to her, "Hey, Quinn!"_

_When she received no response, she began to worry, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"_

_Rachel will never know if Quinn was going to respond, because before she even had the chance, the sophomore cheerleader Santana interrupted their conversation... with a slushie._

_Rachel felt the colored ice on her skin and in her eyes. It hurt. Badly._

_But not nearly as bad as what happened next. She expected Quinn to do something. To defend her._

_But she didn't._

_She watched and did nothing._

Quinn pushed her head into the sheets as another sob racked her body.

"Please, come back to me."

_**A/N - Yay! More depression! As you may have noticed, I played with the age differences a bit. I decided to make Santana a year older than Quinn and Rachel and Brittany a year younger. Also, at this time Rachel and Quinn are Juniors in high school.**_

_**One of my friends told me they thought Pezberry fit better. When I was deciding who the pairing was gonna be, a was stuck between Faberry and Pezberry, and ultimately, I went with Faberry because I thought it fit much better and I'm happy with the decision.**_

_**Everybody vote on the side pairing, please! Even if you don't care, go and vote on random pairings. the choices are below.**_

_**Sugartie (Sugar & Artie)**_

_**Kum (Kurt & Sam)**_

_**Tyder (Tina & Ryder)**_

_**Tingar (Tina & Sugar)**_

_**Puckar (Puck & Sugar)**_

_**Tuck (Tina & Puck)**_

_**- A.J.**_


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